The Glorious Empire of Burning Pants is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The King of Braves with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 21.553 billion Burner of Pants live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of adventure. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Pants-Burner economy, worth a remarkable 7,885 trillion G-Stones a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 365,884 G-Stones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

The immigration office has an express line for people bringing cash in briefcases, drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars, computer users are buried daily in thousands of unsolicited emails, and citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Burning Pants's national animal is the Fighting Mechanoid, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Oath Sworn Through Courage.

Burning Pants is ranked 293,713^th in the world and 11,315^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring -17 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.